What Kind of Boss Do You Have?

Nothing impacts your job satisfaction like your boss. Conflicts with your boss can have serious impacts on your mental health, job satisfaction and opportunity for career growth. If you are going to get promoted, you are going to need support and buy-in from your boss. Learn what kind of boss you have and how to adapt to their style.

There are four kinds of bosses:

Peacock - The Peacock wants to put on a good show, and wants to impress stakeholders.

Ostrich - The Ostrich has their head in the sand, and won’t acknowledge or fix anything.

Wolf - The Wolf is territorial, and will defend aggressively against perceived intruders. 

Dolphin - The Dolphin is friendly, gets along with everyone, and got where they are because of connections.

In the wild, Peacocks use their brightly colored plumage to attract mates. They are proud and attention-seeking. They want to be noticed for their vibrance and brilliance. You’ll find that peacocks in captivity, specifically your Peacock Bosses, are no different. 

The Peacock wants to be celebrated.They want to have an impact on the organization and they want to leave a legacy. The peacock is the first to speak up in meetings no matter who is present. They will not defer to you, even if your knowledge on the subject is far greater than theirs. The peacock is probably a name-dropper, and will try to impress you with the people they know, regardless of whether you have heard the names they are dropping. 

How to get along with a peacock: Swallow your pride and feed into their ego. Just do it. You know how to do it, but you don’t because it’s annoying. 

Examples:

-”I can’t believe that no one thought to do X before you, Peacock! That is so great you put that into place!” (In this instance, X will be something incredibly simple and obvious that they did and they like to pretend is a big deal. Tell them it is a big deal. It costs you nothing.) 

-Tell other people how great they are! I cannot emphasize this enough. Remember -this is what the peacock wants, to be thought of as highly competent and impactful. Help them build this legacy they want. Again - this is free. 

-Learn to help them ‘put on a show.’ The peacock probably has some kind of nonsense pet project that they talk about all the time. HELP MOVE IT FORWARD. Is it silly and ineffective? Probably. But who cares? Whatever you do -  do not get caught up in trying to make this pet project effective. That will drain all of your energy. Just help put some shine on it. You are polishing a turd, and that’s okay.

What to do if the peacock doesn’t like you: 

-This is common. Peacocks only like people that can help them, and if the peacock in question is your boss, you can’t help them move ahead. So don’t panic, and don’t take terse emails or slights personally. Just follow the above directions and wait it out. If you help the peacock with their goal, their tune will change. 

-Be extremely careful if venting about the peacock! Remember, their entire identity lies with other people’s opinions of them. The difference between the peacock not liking you and the peacock actively trying to get rid of you could lie with how you handle these conflicts. Tread lightly! 

How to get the peacock to want to promote you: 

You should always know the peacock’s priority. They will not always include you in their priorities and that is okay. Just because you don’t have a seat at the table doesn’t mean you can’t be a cheerleader.  Cheer on the peacock’s projects, talk about them, and compliment them to other people. If they give you a seat at the table and let you take on part of the project, do it well and check in with them to ensure it’s done how they want it to be done. 

Ostriches are known for putting their heads in the sand. The stereotypical image of the ostrich is an animal with its head stuck in the ground, not looking at anything. You will have bosses like this, who refuse to engage, refuse to acknowledge problems and refuse to fix problems. The ostrich will gaslight you and pretend that your problems are not real problems. They will tell you things function one way when you know for a fact they do not function that way.

BUT - here is a fun fact about ostriches. They do not actually stick their heads in the ground. This is a perception  because they nest on the ground, and will keep their heads low to turn their eggs. They are actually quite alert creatures.  And your ostrich boss is no different. Just because they refuse to engage in a problem, doesn’t mean they can’t see a problem. We all have a lot to learn from ostrich bosses about choosing our battles. 

How to get along with an ostrich: 

-You have to give up some control over your work, and let the ostrich help you dictate priorities. Your ostrich outranks you. Perhaps what you see as them ignoring a problem, is them having accepted that a battle is not worth fighting. They probably have more organizational knowledge than you, so their perception may be right. 

-Develop a friendly relationship with them. Often ostriches do not like to talk about work. They want to talk about movies, and your weekend and gossip about co-workers. This is okay! They are your boss, just chat with them. 

-The ostrich wants the path of least resistance. Think carefully before embroiling them in something that may be a shake-up. This is the last thing the ostrich wants. They just want to make it to the end of their shift so they can log off/clock out and go home. 

-Compliment them for being chill. One reason ostriches take pride in their work is that they believe they are creating a good work environment. They are hopeful that by ignoring problems, the problems don’t exist. So they think they are insulating you (their team) from said problems. This is not true of course, but you aren’t going to change the ostrich. They want to think of themselves as a cool boss, just help them live in that image. It costs you nothing, and it’s easy to do. 

What to do if the Ostrich doesn’t like you: 

-Did you harsh the vibe on the team call? Did you try to convince the ostrich that something is true that they do not want to acknowledge? If so, don’t panic. You stumbled, you didn’t fall off the cliff. There is time to recover. Just talk to them, ask for their opinion and listen carefully. Try to take action on what they tell you. 

-Give the ostrich credit for being strategic with their time and energy. You may view the Ostrich as out of touch, but perhaps they are being selective. Learn from them. 

How to get the ostrich to want to promote you: 

Ostriches value loyalty. They want calm and peace and for no one to rock the boat. The Ostrich will want to promote you if you can demonstrate that you will not take on battles that they don’t feel like fighting. Bonus points if you and the Ostrich consume the same media (you may have to start watching The Bachelorette or following premier league soccer). 

Wolves are territorial, and can be vicious, but they are intelligent and highly social animals. Wolves are adaptable and can be found in a variety of habitats around the world, including forests, mountains, grasslands, and deserts.  Wolves mark their territories and defend the area from other wolf packs. By defending their territory, wolves can control who mates within their pack and prevent competition from outside packs.

Your wolf boss will not delegate anything to you, and if they do they will watch over you like a mother watching a toddler pour their own juice. They will assume you will screw it up, and treat you like you are incapable. 

How to get along with a wolf:

-The wolf is motivated by power. In a best case scenario, the wolf views you as a member of their pack, and is willing to defend you. But, very often, the wolf views everyone as a threat and will treat you like you are another wolf. They will prevent you from accessing other people and resources that will make you successful. 

-Wolves respect competency. If you want the wolf to trust you, you are going to have to deliver high quality work. But remember that the wolf doesn’t want you to shine too brightly, as they would view that as a threat. If you report to a wolf, ALL of your work should go to them before it goes to any higher-ups. If they want to take credit for your work, let them. It will be frustrating, but it’s better than having the wolf perceive you as a threat. 

-The wolf is the kind of person you send emails to before sending them out so they can ‘approve.’  Note - this will happen NO MATTER how competent you are. Don’t let the wolf’s behavior make you second-guess yourself. Don’t confuse their ego with your performance issues - BUT  you do want to stay on a wolf’s good side. If you are not meeting their expectations, find out why and adjust. 

What to do if the wolf doesn’t like you:

-If the wolf doesn’t like it’s probably for one of two reasons - either they think you are going to drag down their team or they think you are a threat. This is the tricky part of working for a wolf. You have to be good at your job - the wolf respects competence and efficiency. But you can’t be too good (or - you cannot get attention for being too good). If you are working for a wolf, you cannot be a peacock. 

-If it’s the former, and you are underperforming, you need to address it. Remove shame from the situation and look at it objectively. You aren’t doing what the wolf wants you to be doing. Why not? What can be changed? ASK the wolf what they want to see and follow up on their asks. More often than not, the problem with under-performers is that they can’t acknowledge or see the issue in their own performance. You can’t fix a problem you can’t name. So start by naming the problem.

-If you overstepped and made the wolf feel like you were encroaching on their territory, the easiest way to course correct is to show your loyalty to the wolf. Let them know you have their back and you are their ride-or-die. Note - this does not have to  be true. You can do this while actively looking for other jobs. But you can put on this show.  Here’s what you have to do - you have to find a way to get recognition for them. Whether you make a point to let their boss know how awesome the wolf is, or if you take on a big project and share the ‘win’ as their win (“I could not have done any of this without Wolf - the Wolf guided me every step of the way!” This is especially funny when the Wolf has literally no idea what the project is).  

-Swallow your pride and admit that you have a lot to learn from the wolf.

How to get the wolf to want to promote you:

The good news about wolves is that they are ambitious. Usually, people are wolves because they want to carve out a name for themselves in their organization. The easiest way to get promoted under a wolf is for them to get promoted so they can take you along with them. Remember that the wolf is highly insecure, that is what makes them so territorial and defensive. The wolf needs to hear words of affirmation - that will make them like you. The wolf will promote you if they believe it will help them get where they want to be. So add value to the wolf, and share credit with them. 

Dolphins are known as friendly, bright creatures. Everyone loves to see a dolphin. They glitter and shine in the sunlight. Your dolphin boss is a politician. He or she knows and can get along with everyone, and everyone is happy to see them. They are smiley, chipper and great conversationalists. Dolphins tend to be highly intelligent, but your dolphin boss doesn’t have time for details. Dolphin bosses are notorious for sending emails with no subject line or missing context. 

How to get along with a dolphin

-Social norms are incredibly important for your dolphin boss. You must start meetings and interactions with an appropriate amount of small talk but you must not overshare. Learning the art of jovial smalltalk is going to be vital for you to get along with the dolphin. You can learn this, in part, by watching them. Your dolphin boss probably greets everyone with buoyant friendly greetings -they probably have nicknames for certain important people and they probably play golf or wordle or some other dumb game with VIPs outside of work. 

-Connections are very important to a dolphin. Don’t necessarily worry about making new connections for them, but do make sure you are helping them to hold firm to the connections they have. If you have a deliverable for the dolphin, make sure it is timely and well-done so the dolphin can keep their connection to the stakeholder.

-Share your accomplishments! Dolphins are talkers and they will talk about you. They generally are not territorial like wolf bosses, so it’s entirely likely the dolphin will say your name in a room of opportunities.

-Dolphins are storytellers. Help them find ‘wins’ or other achievements that they can share to show off the work of your team. Dolphins love this kind of thing.

What to do if the dolphin doesn’t like you

-If the dolphin doesn’t like you, it could well be that they are worried they can’t trust you to be an ambassador of the brand they are trying to build. Remember, the dolphin is a politician at heart. No matter what industry you work in, your dolphin boss is always campaigning for something. If they are worried you aren’t on board or aren’t going to move their message forward, they may not like you. Muster up some courage and find a way to show them you are on board with their vision.

-Ask them questions! Remember, dolphins love to talk. So feed into that! Show curiosity for their long-term visions and goals and find ways to compliment work they have already done. 

How to get a dolphin to promote you

-Dolphins like other dolphins. The dolphin wants a network that will grow continually. To get promoted, you are going to have to play the game and learn some networking skills.

-You are also going to have to try to get along with everyone. Dolphins hate conflict. So if you have beef with other team members and the dolphin finds out, it could be a turn-off for them. Show the dolphin that you are a trusted ambassador who is passionate about whatever they are passionate about, and you have the ability to shake hands with the right people to move projects forward.